How to be Your Own Best Friend!
"When you are your own best friend, you don’t endlessly seek out validation from the wrong sources because you realize that the only approval and validation you need is your own." – Mandy Hale
Hey there, my good reader friends! I have an interesting question for you today. Oh, you have probably thought about it before and even spent time trying to answer it. The question is: “Do you like yourself?” Before you begin to think about it, several things are true about you and everyone you know. People are not perfect! People have positive and negative emotions. People come in all sizes, shapes, and colors. Your community culture shapes your value system. You are not the person in the mirror. None of these facts should color your consideration. The question encourages you to begin an inner dialogue between you and you. That’s fewer people than “me, myself, and I,” so I know you can do this.
The first step is accepting your inner duality. Have you ever been aware of the layers of thought flowing simultaneously through your mind? We do not behave outwardly based on a unitary stream of deliberation. How many of you had an imaginary childhood friend? That is a first step towards dialoguing within your own inner world.
“Why do children have imaginary friends? Well, mostly because they’re fun. Children are naturally imaginative, and exercising their imaginations is good for their emotional and mental health,” says Laura Markham, Ph.D., author of Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids. “Kids who have imaginary friends enjoy them, so they always have someone to play with if they feel lonely or bored. My daughter, at ages 3 and 4, used to say, ‘I’m going to play with Betsy now,’ and then yak away for half an hour in her bedroom.” "1 (There are many reasons children have imaginary friends, but I only want to point out that imaginary friends exist in many children’s lives, primarily for positive reasons.)
Children naturally grow out of that phase, but in that void, something profound happens in our adult brain. We begin to talk to ourselves! Nobody knows us as well as we know ourselves, making us uniquely qualified to work out our lives.
The question is: “Do you like yourself?” Think about how you treat other people (and furry people too). Think of your interests and activities, and the skills you learned in school. Think about what you care about. Are you a nice person? Do you make people smile? I like that kind of person! Were you truthful in your answer?
If you think poorly of yourself and always blame yourself, you may have had someone in your life instill a different voice, an unwelcome agent. If you have been mistreated and belittled throughout life, “someone” else made sure to damage your self-esteem. Be assured that there are many ways to silence, even eliminate that nagging, bedraggling harangue! (I won’t go into that in this essay, but many outward resources exist to resolve those issues.)
Now the next question is: “Do you trust yourself enough to be your best friend?” BFFs must be absolutely trustworthy. Do you care enough about yourself for you and you to agree on what is best for you and you? It took me decades to finally give myself license to be the ultimate decision-maker for me and me. Before that, I would talk to every person I knew to get advice. To speak to yourself, you need to close out all distractions. I like a quiet room and a view out of my window. It’s like setting up a homework station for your child. Pick a comforting place with a peaceful ambiance and let the “two you’s” interact. Interestingly, your gut will chime in when you harmonize.
Because you will always have your best friend with you, your judgment and discernment will improve. Is this a good deal or a scam? Is this person on the level? Is this person someone I would like to befriend or date? Should I spend my money this way or that?
In closing, I will add that I and I have an awesome forever friend. His name is God or, to me, Jesus Christ. Supporting all the confidence me and me share is a solid foundation based on my spiritual beliefs. But maybe more about that in the future.
In the meantime, if anyone asks, say that you are “TTMBF!” ”2
“Let’s all talk to ourselves. Shall we?”
https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/life/parenting/a28579180/why-children-have-imaginary-friends/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=arb_ga_ghk_md_pmx_us_urlx_19597983321&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI__T036nA_QIVdPDjBx2C1wKgEAAYAiAAEgI64fD_BwE
“Talking To My Best Friend”
It’s the best to be your own bff!